Family meetings help you and your loved ones co-create your future. They allow for storytelling about where you’ve been and where you want to go, fostering a deeper understanding of shared values and important decisions. Instead of feeling like a heavy responsibility, they can empower you to shape your family’s story and legacy.

Click here to read this month’s list of 4 simple action items.

Why Families Hesitate – and Why It’s Worth Starting

For many families, the hardest part is simply starting. The fear of saying the wrong thing, revisiting old negative experiences, or addressing delicate issues can hold you back. But family meetings are about progress, not perfection. Opening the door to them today lays the foundation for future conversations, creating a space where everyone can share concerns and find common ground.

Though the first step may feel uncertain, it’s often the most powerful. Eventually, life’s inevitable challenges will need to be addressed. Discussing them early—rather than during a crisis—can lead to a new sense of comfort you may never have experienced before.

What to Talk About: Balancing Serious and Lighter Conversations

Every family meeting has the flexibility to cover what feels most relevant to you and your family. Yes, it’s crucial to talk about serious topics like legacy planning and family values when the time is right, but lighter subject matter can also be a part of these conversations. Incorporating everyday subjects can break the ice, bringing everyone together to connect beyond just the big decisions.

Consider including a mix of topics, such as:

Health issues including memory loss: Openly discuss care and support now to reduce uncertainty down the road.
Retirement plans and lifestyle changes: Talk about each person’s vision for their future and how it ties into the family’s overall plans.
Aging in place or downsizing: Start conversations in advance of future living arrangements to align expectations.
Philanthropy or charitable giving: Share your goals for giving back and how you’d like future generations to be involved.
Vacation planning or family traditions: Incorporate lighter topics like trips or traditions to help balance the mood.
Celebrations or milestones: Plan family celebrations, anniversaries, or important family events to keep the meeting engaging and positive.
Hobbies or shared interests: Bring up common hobbies or plans for future activities to create bonding moments.
Shared family or childhood memories: Reflect on meaningful moments to foster connection and help preserve your family’s story.

If you make them a regular habit, these conversations will gradually become easier and more natural. This can keep your family aligned and prepared for whatever comes next.

5 Simple Steps for Productive, Meaningful Family Meetings

A well-structured family meeting doesn’t just happen—it’s planned thoughtfully and will likely be one conversation in a series. Topics, decisions, and insights evolve over time, so plan to revisit them as needed.

Here’s how to make a family meeting as successful and stress-free as possible:

1. Start with Agreement

Agree on a time and place for the meeting that works for everyone. Whether it’s in person, over a Zoom call, or at a cozy family retreat, the setting should feel neutral and relaxed. Blocking off an hour is a good rule of thumb. It gives you enough time to cover key points without feeling rushed or overwhelmed. Each meeting can take a different form based on what needs to be addressed.

2. Establish the Purpose

Establishing a clear goal and simple agenda for the meeting helps ensure that everyone knows why they’re there and what you hope to achieve. Whether you’re discussing wealth and values, potential family business issues, or health matters, it’s helpful to focus on one main topic at a time. This keeps the conversation manageable and prevents it from feeling too overwhelming.

3. Design Collaboratively

Family meetings can come in different shapes and sizes and should be a joint effort. The goal is to design a collaborative conversation, where everyone feels they have a voice. That might mean inviting certain family members to participate, or bringing in trusted professionals to offer education and experience, helping guide the discussion and ensure it stays productive.

4. Communicate Expectations and Format

Set the tone immediately with a simple agenda and make sure the environment allows all to share their thoughts in a respectful way. Encourage “I” rather than “You” statements. Small tweaks in communication style can make all the difference. “I feel this way about our family’s goals” is far less confrontational than, “You always do this with money.” You might be surprised by how much easier the discussion feels when your family is simply trying to understand one another’s perspectives.

5. Create a Safe Space

The primary purpose of a family meeting is to create an open forum for honest discussion and alignment. While some conversations may be more intense than others, they should always serve as a space for connection—not confrontation. Everyone should feel they can speak without fear of being judged or retaliated against. When you establish a safe and comfortable environment, you’re more likely to successfully address important issues while maintaining family harmony.

Are You Ready for a Family Meeting?

How do you know if you’re ready?

Are you comfortable discussing your personal goals openly with your family?
Do you feel confident balancing the need for privacy with sharing important information?
Is your family aware of your goals—both financial and personal?
Does your family participate in and appreciate your philanthropic efforts?
Have previous conversations about your wealth, values, or legacy been productive?

If you can answer these questions with some confidence, you’re already on your way to creating a comfortable space for dialogue.

Starting the Conversation

When you’re ready to take the first step toward a family meeting, remember: it’s just a conversation More often than not, these discussions bring a sense of relief, helping everyone feel more at ease, closer, and better connected.

Here are some simple action items you can take to prepare for a family meeting:

Download and print out HT|TC’s “A Simple Approach to Meaningful Family Meetings” from our website
Empower yourself by reading HT|TC’s It’s Just a Conversation: 10 Common Myths About Family Meetings
Read HT|TC’s Open the Door: A Step-by-Step Guide for Crucial Conversations
Schedule time with your HT|TC advisor to identify gaps in your family’s communication about important topics

The Role of Your Advisor: A Source of Support

You don’t have to handle these conversations alone. Your HT|TC advisor can be a valuable resource and sounding board, pulling in third-party resources as needed and providing a clear structure. Our team brings experience and objectivity to these discussions, helping them stay on track and including everyone’s voice. This added support can make a real difference in keeping the tone light and constructive.

With 30+ years of experience helping clients through their lives’ most significant and complex moments, we’re here to help. Our A Time to Talk™ series, along with tools like our One Call® estate plan review process and PLAN (Preserving Legacies and Narratives) meeting framework, can provide you with the structure and confidence to make these discussions smoother and more productive.

Life happens. Let’s plan for yours, together.

Click here to read this month’s list of 4 simple action items .

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Your Family Story: A Simple Approach to Meaningful Family Meetings

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